The Great Candy Trade

So, it's that time again. Yes, it's the time when I start to increase my waistline just so I can make a New Year's resolution to lose weight. Actually, I don't make that resolution because I try to be realistic when I make resolutions. Anyway, Halloween is coming up. It's the first holiday in the series of holidays that in my life create stomach aches due to eating too much of something (or everything). Last year my weakness was this sweet potato casserole that my cousin made for Thanksgiving. I think that she put an addictive chemical in it that made me crave for it nightly. Needless to say, I was hooked and sort of overdid it.

That paragraph was completely beside the point of my actual topic, which happens to also be irrelevant to most people. Tonight my sister and I were reminiscing about the olden days when we would go trick-or-treating and trade the candies that each of us didn't like so that we could each have our own optimal candy loot. It would go something like this:

Cash (dressed in some cool costume): "Oh no! All they had was Reeses!"
Me (dressed as a ghost or a hippie or something stupid and easy to make): "Don't worry, I'll trade you my Snickers for the Reeses. I love Reeses."

Later that night, during the Great Candy Trade:

Cash: "Ooooh, do you want a Butterfinger for that Nestle Crunch?"
Me: "Sure! I really like Reeses."
Cash: "I know. They're gross."
Me: "Mmmmm.... Reeses."
Dub(dressed as a tube of toothpaste): "How much candy did you two get?"

....you get the point. I would basically drool over Reeses. Back in those days, I really cared for Reeses, Butterfingers, 3 Muskateers, and 5th Avenue bars; although, hardly anyone ever gave out 5th Avenues. Those were like gold to me. I tried to get at least two each year. They even trumped the Reeses if people had them. Cash enjoyed Kit Kat, Nestle Crunch Bars, and Snickers. Sometimes I'd even pony up a Skittles pack for these candy bars. Naturally, my tastes have changed. I can hardly stand Butterfingers or 3 Muskateers, anymore, and I find Crunches and Snickers to be some of the best (if not essential) Halloween treats. ....mmmm.... still love Reeses.

I'd have to say that one problem that we'd continually have each year was with those black- and orange-wrapped peanut buttery treats. Do you know the ones? They were like death to us. I thought that they were a disgrace to peanut butter and that they resembled vomit more than candy. We never wanted to eat those and couldn't understand why people kept purchasing them (surely everyone felt the same way we did about those horrific things), and it was funny every time to try and trade them away (yeah, like anyone would fall for that one).

...speaking of those icky things, one time I had a Halloween party at my house. Our neighborhood was quite the popular one in those days for the trick-or-treaters, and I had purchased what I believed to be some of the best selection of treats for the cute kiddies. When people came to the party, I forbade them from eating the candy for the trick-or-treaters, and instead, offered some various other snacks/treats and other candy that I had purchased for the party people. Well, people didn't listen (some people thought that we had purchased too much candy for the kids and not enough for them), and the trick-or-treaters kept coming and coming. There was at least one person in the group that kept eating the "good" candy, so before the night was over all of the good candy (for the kids) was gone! Some blessed soul who had been kind enough to bring some candy had added some candy to the bowl. Yep, you guessed it. It was the orange- and black-wrapped abominations. It would pain me to give it to the trick-or-treaters, but it was all I had left! I swear! It wasn't my fault! And there were some vomit candies leftover at the end of the night for my own enjoyment. I think that I found someone who actually liked them and donated them to their cause/plead with them to take them off of my hands. Side note: If it was you that ate the good candy, contributed the gross candy, and you're reading this, don't worry, I'm not mad, it's just a good, ironic story. ...and I guess I underestimated the amount of good candy that I would need.

Anyhow... I'm looking forward to Halloween again this year. I will be in charge of the candy-giving and will be purchasing good candies. Maybe I will give out Ding Dongs or Ho-Ho's to a few lucky kids. Or maybe I'll give out bananas to help them be healthy. Or toothpaste. Or maybe I will actually dress up in a creative costume, instead of being the same old ninja. That was cool when I was Princess Leia. I wish I could figure out how to pull off Yzma from "The Emperor's New Groove," but I guess I'll have to wait about 50 more years. ...and then it might not seem like dressing up... oh well.