Welcome to my lair of attractive celebrities (aka "The Hall of Crush" or the relationship month post where Cardine posts photos of celebrities that she thinks are attractive). Before I show you the crushes, I've gotta take a minute to word vomit.
Really. No, really. Have you ever had a celebrity crush? And, I'm not talking about a celebrity craziness where you're an angsty teenager with posters in your room of the New Kids on the Block or the Backstreet Boys or whatever group or singer is the heartthrob of that year or where you actually write letters to them to make all sorts of crazy statements, like, "I am your #1 fan" or whatnot. And not the sort where you've actually stalked them. I'm not talking about the wacky crushes that creep me out. I'm just talking about a crush like, "hey, I really think that actor/actress is good-looking" or "boy, I could sure be kissed like that" or "jeez, wouldn't it be nice if he sang that song to me."
Note to my sisters: Please don't make fun of me for these.
Now, let's get down to business. (I apologize in advance for any corniness that may ensue.)
Hi, I'm Cary Elwes. You may remember me from such films as "The Princess Bride" or "Robin Hood: Men in Tights." To a 12 year-old girl watching me portray the role of Wesley (aka the Dread Pirate Roberts), I am a handsome devil. In fact, you may refer to me as R.O.U.S., or as ravishing of unbeatable standards. I am as attractive as you wish.
Hello, I'm Christian Bale. You may remember me from such films as "Swing Kids," "Little Women," or "Batman Begins." I have had a really long and prosperous career. I also once had a really long and juicy string of saliva stretching from Winona Ryder's mouth to mine. I am so dedicated to acting that I even got really emaciated for some of my roles. When I eat food and have meat on my bones, I am really attractive.
Hi, I'm Harrison Ford. You may remember me from such trilogies as "Star Wars" or "Indiana Jones." I hope that you don't remember me from such films as "Hollywood Crapicide" or "What Lies Beneath" (too scary). Now that you mention it, what does lie beneath this rugged exterior? Possibly eccentricities, but you may never know. You may have to adore me from your chair. Go ahead, write "I love you" on your eyelids. See if I notice.
Hello, I'm Cillian Murphy. You may remember me from such films as "Batman Begins" or "Red Eye," where I specialized in being strangely attractive in spite of my creepy roles. I haven't had a huge career, but as you can see, I am most attractive in the smiling form. Perhaps someday someone will notice and cast me in a non-creepy role so I can smile.
Hello, my name is Hugh Grant. You may remember me from such delightful films as "About A Boy" or "Love Actually." It is in films such as these, as well as others, that you are able to see me acting in carefree manners, like singing "Killing Me Softly With His Song" or dancing around to "Jump (For My Love)." I look attractive doing goofy things, as well as shuffling papers. I am most attractive when I am goofy, yet real.
Hi, my name is Matt Damon. You may remember me from such films as "The Rainmaker," "Ocean's Eleven," or "The Bourne Identity." You can try to not think I'm attractive, but I am. It's a fact. If you try to deny it, you will soon learn that you are deceiving yourself. I recently received an award for being sexy. That's how attractive I am. They just give me awards for looking good.
Hi, I'm Liev Schreiber. You may remember me from such films as "Kate & Leopold" or "The Sum of All Fears." I recently had a role in "CSI" where viewers discovered that it should be a crime to look as good as I do. I was born in the 60's (you know what that means), but somehow I made it through all that weird grooviness to look as handsome as I do. That's right.
Hello, my name is James Marsden. You may remember me from such films as "X-Men" or "Hairspray." But, you may have forgotten between seeing all those movies how attractive I am. However, it was probably a real delight to rediscover my attractiveness at each movie. I especially look attractive when I'm singing and dancing. I have it going on.
So, thanks for taking a walk through Cardine's Lair of Attractive Celebrities. I hope you enjoyed your time here. Now please tell me, who is in YOUR hall of crush?