I felt like documenting some silly stories from my past. And since my sisters and I were reminiscing about this topic recently, I now give you:
The Curious Case of Austin Bradley
This is the story of Austin Bradley and how I am dumb. A long time ago, in a land not very far away at all, I went to church at this building. Sometimes the multiple congregations who met in that building would combine to have meetings together if it were a holiday weekend or Spring Break. On one particular Sunday with these combined meetings, I became exposed to Austin. His hair was combed perfectly, and his suit always hung perfectly from his body. He looked like perhaps his mom had dressed him. He sat on the front row of Sunday School class and had a zeal for the lesson. He was quite fun about it, and I thought to myself, "Oh, how nice that the retarded guy on the front row participates so much and enjoys Sunday School."
Time passed, and due to living conditions, Austin ended up coming to church as a part of my congregation. He maintained his well-groomed appearance and zeal for the lessons, but he was different somehow from how I thought that he was previously. In fact, before long, I started to notice that the females at church were quite taken with him. I would say that they were in deep smit over him. One girl even went so far as to proclaim that she would always remember the first day that she saw him (I always would, too... January 18). And it wasn't just one girl; there were many of them. So I began to pay attention. Upon closer observation, I discovered that Austin was not, in fact, retarded. He was, in fact, a smarty pants, who was also a quarterback for the university football team, as well as studying to someday be a seminary (high school religion) teacher. So, instead of being retarded, he was like the church Man of the Year. Whoops.
So readers, please, I beg of you. Don't be a Cardine. Don't presume that people are retarded when they're not.
The names have been changed. (My name is not actually Cardine, FYI. In case you didn't know.)