Lately I've been pondering a topic that has probably been on my mind from watching too many movies. Or maybe it's friends who have gotten married. Either way, I have heard some mention of people who are single for some time getting set in their ways. I am single and have been for some time, so I've been thinking about some of the ways in which I am set.
So here is a list. I'm sure it's a partial list:
1. I usually eat in the living room or at the bar. Tables are only for visitors or family, and that's only if it's like a real dinner and not just snacks. I'm sure I can change, but for now, I am set in this way.
2. I do laundry sometime between Friday night and Saturday night. Sometimes the clothes get put away, and sometimes they don't get put away until Monday.
3. I blow dry my hair at my vanity table. I also read scriptures then, so don't bug me. (In fact, it's best to not bug me in the morning.)
4. Speaking of blow drying my hair, I curse my electrical system every time I have to go flip the breaker when I'm doing so. It trips frequently. Grrrrr. It will probably always annoy me to some degree.
5. The toilet seat is never up, unless I am cleaning the bathroom. This will not change.
6. Speaking of toilets, the paper drapes over the roll. OVER.
7. I press snooze. Multiple times.
8. I get up at the last possible minute to get ready, so sometimes if things don't go smoothly (see #4), I'm late.
9. The silverware faces down. It really does. If it doesn't get clean, I can rewash it. I don't want to stab myself when reaching in. If they are facing up, I would definitely stab myself. Blood = gross. Also, are you touching the dinnerware when you get it out of the dishwasher? See #12 below.
10. There must always be cheese of some kind in the fridge.
11. Chips and food in general shall not be left open in the air. Buy the clips. Stale chips are terrible. Does it really hurt to close it up? There are critters all around us, and seriously, don't be so lazy.
12. People should wash their hands. Frequently.
13. The entire bed is my sleeping area. I admit that it will be hard to adjust to having to share one.
Don't worry, there are also ways in which I am not set. The problem is that if someone else is set in these ways, they could possibly be annoyed with me. Ways in which I am not set:
1. So what's the big deal about squeezing the toothpaste from the end? I mean, really? I don't even think about the squeezing, and all of my toothpaste comes out nicely. What are we afraid of here? I guess I must not get it. Maybe I haven't been confronted with an annoying toothpaste-user? I mean, if someone doesn't put the cap on, well, see #11 above. I get that, but I don't get the squeezing thing. Maybe I just do it "right" but don't know it. It isn't even a cognizant choice for me.
2. I guess I really could live with an "under" toilet paper user, but whenever I put the roll on, I would put it in the over position. It is my preference. I guess I'm not so "set" in this.
3. I would be okay with someone else being in charge of the thermostat, unless of course my body started shutting down from the freeze.
4. I don't have to be in charge of the remote, as long as the person isn't a constant flipper, in which case I will accidentally lose the remote.
5. I can drive or I can not drive or I can sometimes drive. It's not a control thing for me.
So... I don't feel like thinking of any more. I guess I'm more set in my ways than I thought. Are you set in your ways? Are there ways in which you were set that you didn't realize until you got married? Do tell.
7 comments:
This is fun! It's nice that you are aware of some of these things. I'm afraid I'm mostly in denial and when I get married it will be a hard awakening.
I think one of the ways in which I am set is in regards to where things go when you put them away. The crazy thing is... I don't know why I put things in the places I put them. It really makes no sense.
Ah well....
Yeah I used to be an over the top toilet paper person, ever since I worked as a maid one summer. However, once my kids were old enough to start unrolling the toilet paper roll by hitting it I switched. It is much harder to unroll the paper when it is upside down. So now it goes that way. Luckily Patrick is pretty easy going and goes along with most things that I'm particular about so that's nice. ;)
I think both married and single people get set in their ways. And there are things that bother me now that never would have 15 years ago, and things that bothered me 15 years ago that aren't such a big deal now.
I also squeeze the toothpaste from where ever I want. Stale chips are nasty, so I use a clip, clothespin, twist tie if I'm desperate. The toilet seat lid is always down. Always. No clothes hanging over the side of the hamper. I don't care if they have to be compacted in the hamper, I hate clothes hanging off the sides. And no dishes in the sink before bed, and my table has to be cleared off before bed.
I'm sure Ben could come up with a much longer list of things in which I'm set in my ways. ;)
I remember hearing people say that about older single people and figured it could actually be a good thing if you found someone who went along with the things you were set about. At least then you wouldn't suddenly change after a few months/years/decades.
Speaking as someone who got married at almost 34 and was set in a lot of ways, living with someone has been a lot easier than I thought it would be. Part of that is probably because I've had lots of roommates and have learned to pick my battles, and that battles aren't usually a good thing so should pick a very small number of them. I'm a lot more patient and forgiving about dumb things like the toilet seat being up (and I mean all the way UP) than I would have a decade or so ago. Seriously, it's not that much work to put the seat down - if I'm the one who likes it down, I don't mind being the one to do it - it's easy! :)
For some of the other things, we have learned to adapt or found ways for both of us to get our own way. We have separate toothpastes, not because of the squeezing thing but because of different tastes. We fold clothes differently, so we do our own laundry. Etc.
Really, what I think works best is trying to make the living space the most comfortable you can for the other person...because you love them and want them to be happy. Hopefully your partner does this for you, so you end up happy too. When issues arise, they're more easily settled if you're both looking out for the other person.
Sorry! That was just a really long way to say that I don't think being "Set" is a big deal. :(
Really - the toilet paper? ;) I had a companion who would constantly yell at me for having the paper roll opposite of what she wanted. (Most the time i did it on purpose just to make her mad...) One day though I finally yelled back and said, "At least I put it BACK on the roll!!!"
Interesting post...made me think of what things I have become "set" in.
Thanks for your comments, guys. I think Julie really highlighted what my conclusion was. It doesn't have to be such a big deal. And I also don't think it has that much to do with age because even younger people have some habits from their family growing up.
That being said, I can see how some of the habits or ways where I am set could be less than desirable. I concluded that since people can always improve, I should probably just look at some of my more annoying habits and improve in those areas. It might take me my whole life, though!
I think I would need to sit down and really think about this to make an accurate list. I never realized how important it is for things to be organized in some way. Like, stuff put back where it goes after you get it out. This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine in my house, and has nothing to do with my kids...
someone in my house is always loosing or misplacing things, and I think their pet peeve is when I put their things away for them, so, they just get lost.
I hate piles of clothes not in the laundry basket.
We all have our own toothpastes,and always have, so that's a non-issue at our house, though I don't think it would bother me.
I hate people leaving dishes in the sink; anything in the sink has to be completely rinsed off (preferably it's just silverware) and all dishes have to be stacked (and rinsed) neatly to the side until I can clean them. (We only had a dishwasher in our first two apartments in Washington.)
I also have to have the table cleared off completely, stove and counter wiped, and preferably the floor swept, even if I didn't get to washing the dishes. IF one of those things is still undone in the morning, I'm super crabby when I notice it.
Joseph hates it when I clean kids poopy clothes in his sink. Like he thinks I don't clean out the sink afterwards. I never would have thought of that before I was married...I said he should be happy I didn't make him clean it.
I hate the curtains being left open after dark...it took Joseph a few years to learn how much that bothered me, because his family didn't do it. I also want the curtains opened right when I come out in the morning, I hate a dark house, even if it makes it warmer or whatever.
I'm sure I could go on and on....I think I've been overly annoyed at these things recently, now that I think about it. :)
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